Slightly Strange Muslima`

2011-09-18T22:39:00.000-07:00

Congratulations!

I am oh so proud of you.

For achieving something no one has before.

This is your award.

This is it.

You achieved a stupidity no one before you has ever achieved.

How did you do it?

HOW?

Oh, was it you following your carnal desires and forgetting to use your mind?

Because if so, then I must give you a standing ovation.

You have achieved

a great milestone, mister.

You have.

Congratulations.

Now please...move around, I have more important things to do with my time

then spend it

trying to recollect the diminished thoughts I have of you.

Good night.

2011-08-24T17:16:00.000-07:00

I am feeling so much right now, yet not feeling anything. Could that be? Perhaps it's another lone Wednesday. The sun is about to set...it's in the process. This is one of the most beautiful times of the day; mashaa'Allah tabarak'Allah.

I'm sitting in my room. Attempting to type away my feelings. What feelings? So many. Hm. There's this one person, who I have never met...but I am absolutely in love with.
I have never seen the color of their eyes, nor seen the way they walk, but I know I love them. Sure, love is such a powerful word, and I never play with it; so when I say love, I sincerely, sincerely mean it. Enough commas in that sentence? I think so. Now, before I go to bed at night, I think of him. I have his laugh in my mind. I don't even know who he is but I know that his laugh makes me smile, anytime and everytime.

But. I wish him the best. I make duaa that he is happy, because as long as he is happy, I am happy.

This is the last time (perhaps the first time) I will ever talk about the opposite sex here. Perhaps, I'll even delete this. Perhaps I wont even publish this. Perhaps, this is a perhapsless situation.

That is all. Good day.

<3

April 27, 2011

2011-08-17T03:34:00.000-07:00

I give myself too much credit. & I love it. This is no longer about you, but about me. Perhaps, you await angry words thrown at and about you, as did the previous did; but I, have nothing to say but good things. I expected a downfall, a thunderstorm, with a slight chance of hailing. Thing is, I love thunderstorms, & I love to see hail falling, but I got something better. I got closure & that to me , is the rainiest rain.

2011-08-17T03:27:00.000-07:00

I find it beauteous to write when I am feeling the most emotions. I feel that it encapsulates all of my emotions and efforts. It barrs in my inner most emotions. Feeling the sting in my eyes, the lump in the back of my throat. Witness truth, when I was younger, I never understood what writers meant by lump in the back of my throat, but now I feel it. Alhamdulilah.

Now I feel the puffiness behind my face, each nerve, each muscle, each vessel begging my face to not cry, to not squander, to not give in. This time is most difficult. It's a time most difficult. May Allah ease it for me. I am perplexed at the position I am in. Is it good or is it bad. What is good and what is bad. Good feels bad at times and the bad feels good many times. Where do I draw the line about where I should be and how I should feel? I am sitting here with my bedazzled vest and black attire, my eyes are lined with kohl and my heart is weak. I am dressed with no where to go as the world races in attempts to complete tasks seen as foolish by me.

Why are you not here with me, in despair. Why am I here alone. Question is, why am I here in despair and not with you in happiness. Oh no, the feeling is coming back again, the torture of the stinging in my eyes. Alhamdulilah. All praise be to Allah, for placing in me in such a position. This position I have been in many times. This position of...near failure, near success. Never near success. Always near failure. Why do I allow myself to be put here again? Alhamdulilah. Alhamdulilah. Alhamdulilah. Allaahu akbar. This wont matter when I am at my grave, but how I Handel it. have I handled it with peace? Have I handled it with patience? have I done my part to be supreme and fantastic and effervescent about this whole ordeal or have I allowed my good deeds to be squandered by my dismay at the events in my life. I want to make them proud, I want to make them happy.

I want Allah to be pleased with me. 22 years and not a full accomplishment yet. I have accomplished the task of finding myself. I was lost, my soul was wandering in the feeble minds of man, my soul was tempted by complicated compliments and lustful laziness. I was encapsulated by the whims of my own desires, I took them as my lord. I took the movements of my hips as temptation to drive out the crazy in man. The way my lips talked, the way my eyes batted at the glances of lost souls. I was the lost one, my soul was wandering in the minds of feeble men. I was but an idea, I was but a memory. I was but a thought, a fickle, a ...a memory. I was not the me I was destined to be and you may ask, how I have come to find that I was destined to be this way...it feels like home. I don't know the feeling of homeness, but I feel this is the feeling of...home. I have found my place in life among the Muslims.

Amongst the truth, amongst those who are most beloved to Allah. I have found myself alone. I have found myself in a lonely barren land where Muslims once existed, where they once shouted their love for their Lord in their hearts as their lips uttered words of solace. In this land I call my mind, I have seen the likes of too many versions of me. I have been through the turmoil of being lost and now I have found myself. But I still have not found my place in life, I have not found my place in this world, amongst men, amongst talk, amongst ideas. I have only found myself within me.

I don't even know when this was written. Just sitting in my drafts. Sometime in May or July.

2011-08-11T01:54:00.000-07:00

I should be asleep. My eyes are heavy. I don't even know how I clicked on the blogger button and made my way up here, and I don't even know how I am typing right now.
I just need to get some stuff off my chest.
This world..this world is such a trial.
I am so blessed, so blessed alhamdulilah to handle it the way I do. Other people are not handelling it well, at all. I wish I can tell everyone to just grasp to the sunnah and qur'an and khalas POOF all is well, but people are stubborn.

All they want to hear about is how beautiful they are, when they want to get married, how good they feel. Baseless stuff. Inconsistent issues, not even relevant in life.

Just...let's go back to the aqeedah. Let's go back to Tawheed. Let's go back to loving Allah and fearing Allah and hoping from Allah and trusting Allah.

Life is not all about boys and girls and love and marriage and relationships and drama and beauty. It's about how we struggle. Not what we struggle on.

Ugh.

People can be such humans sometimes. I just want to be, I'm tired of trying to save the world. I am so tired of beign everywherea nd for everyone and misspelling words when I'm frustrated. Ugh. I just want to be. I like to be. BE .

I love to help , I love to be there. but not when I can't be there for myself. You see, i love me. I love me very much and me deserves some time too. So please, can I have some time for me?

2011-08-03T23:36:00.000-07:00

Oh...I have become extreme -_-

such a feeling. alhamdulilaah. sorry for no updates, my blog. I love you; remember that. I'll update sooon!
Lol watch this video; may Allah bless this man.

Ramadan

2011-08-01T22:35:00.001-07:00

you guys...it's here!!!!!!
I AM SO PUMPED !

2011-07-24T01:51:00.000-07:00

Dear you, let me write you a letter. This letter could perhaps show my frustration, but you wouldn't know unless you had the gift of reading the undertone behind my letters. & no, I will not be bolding any words, or italicizing any words to show any emphasis on them. This is in the hopes that you'll rely on the lack of common sense and lack of intellect you have. Ouch. I hope that burned, because right now my fingers are typing so fast that there are almost sparks on my keyboard. Actually...I'm typing normally, but HAD I BEEN ANGRIER! I WOULD SO type faster, but I can't bring myself to type any faster just like I can't bring myself to be angry. I am actually pretty content. Pretty normal. Very happy. A little frustrated, but nonetheless, nonchalant about the whole situation.

To answer the question you never got around to hearing. No, I do not at all. Allahu a'lem when I do again, but for the time being, I do not at all. Especially the likes of you.

2011-07-24T00:58:00.000-07:00

It's 2:51 A.M. I should sleep, but I know that this time is the best time for me to write, because my emotions and my words will be pure. To post or not to post, Allahu a'lem. I don't know what I'll be writing, but I'll be writing. I kind of want to stop writing some things seeing as how so many other people have begun reading this blog...even if it's just here and there. And yes I am aware that if I publish this, they'll be seeing this, but I don't care. I don't trust everyone as much as I should and some of the things written could be taken out of context. But...again I don't care. I value the fact that someone somewhere is reading and perhaps enjoying the lovely string of letters I put together, all in the hopes that they may benefit from whatever it is that they can benefit from, by reading anything I write. Today, baba and co. came over. It was such a short visit, but nonetheless it was so memorable. Little brother's voice is changing! I don't want it to be...but I guess he HAS to grow up.

I was fine, until they decided they needed to go back to the place that I miss oh so much, home. I chocked up, but wallahe I have gotten so much better at stopping myself from crying. Minus last night; I just ...I just could not hold anything back.

There's so much to be said. There's so much I need to delete. There's so much I need to remember and so little to forget.

You have been missed

2011-07-12T08:13:00.000-07:00

Bismillah.

This is the first time I have ever titled my post before I wrote something in the body section first. I usually write and then the title is the last thing I add, hence why some posts don't have titles.

Anyways I didn't want this to be lengthy, I came on here to prove I am still alive. I wanted to blog about something note-worthy, but I realized...everything I write is note-worthy. At least to me.

MY BLOG! you have been missed! I am so sorry...I usually blog more on my tumblr & such. But have no fear, this shall always remain my number one personal blog. I just like to write, folks.

So I leave you with this reminder:

Ramadan is nearly here, folks. How are you preparing for it? Because Allah knows I need to update my goal list and soon!

2011-06-27T20:14:00.000-07:00

Allow me to be as vague as I can possibly be. Perhaps the time has come for my memories to finally drown in a shallow kiddie pool. The thing is, time and time again I remind myself to forget something which I have forgotten long ago. I am the one that reminds myself of something I have forgotten about...but to speak of the topic of the month of fools, I have to admit, the time passed on too quickly, too swiftly, and left me in utter contentedness. I don't mean to harm, I don't mean to stab, I don't mean to cause pain. I mean to expel my feelings, my true feelings. I have forgotten long ago, I have moved away long ago, I have put the situation in its place and continued on my quest in life. Truly, I have. This is not one of those moments in which I tell myself things so that I believe them when in fact, they hold no truth in my life. It is truth. It could be how the situation arose and how it meditated its way into our sleepless nights and our wandering thoughts.

It might be, or it might be that I have become exactly what I was destined to be. A woman who learns. This is something that I have prayed for, sleepless nights full of devotion filled my nights, in hopes of Allah guiding me to be patient. Patience in the sense of accepting the good and accepting the bad, whatever it may be. I have accepted it in full. I believe the individuals have also, and that brings me to ease. Wa'alhamdulilah.

2011-06-22T14:36:00.001-07:00

Except...I do care less. By whatever means of measurement less is. I careless, am I careless? Perhaps.

2011-06-19T23:47:00.000-07:00

Be thankful for it and all the events that occurred in it.

Be thankful for the falls.

For the defeats

For the sadness

Be thankful for the happiness.

For the laughter.

For the memories.

They are what made you a better you at the end of the day.

Do not discard of this day, simply due to you making mistakes.

may Allah bless you with a better day tomorrow.

A day that you will have mastered by learning

from today.

Be thankful for today.

Alhamdulilaah.

1:05

2011-06-18T23:12:00.000-07:00

A basketball legend, reaching the stars with extended kindness.

A life of destroyed dreams, making the present a state of constant struggle.

Making the present, a state of constant struggle.

Nothing surprises me anymore, so when I heard the echos of a life of crime and a life

of robbery, and a life of defeat,

I retreated and fell to my knees asking God to ease life for you.

Asking God to ease life for you.

The inconsistencies in the lettered words no longer perturbed me, they

only hasten to further me from my own hopes and dreams.

& I seem

as though I am unfathomed by the realities struck only by your words

as the words of greats live but their commitment lives on longer.

the words of greats live, but their commitment lives on longer.

Unfinished business.

I am me

2011-06-17T19:51:00.000-07:00

I am the daughter of my father. I am the daughter of my mother. I am the sister of my sister, and the sister of my brothers. I am the cousin of my cousins. I am the niece to my aunts and uncles. I am a friend of my friends. I am Allaa`. I am not what my grandfather was. I am not what my father is. I am not what my mother is. I am not what my sister or brothers are, nor am I what my friends are. I am me. I take no responsiblity for the achievements they had in their past, I take no notion in being proud of my history, I take no pride in being known as someone of someone due to that someone's life. I take no pride of a lineage that is only wordly.

Don't get me wrong, I am truly blessed to be the daughter of my father and mother. I aspire to be the amazing parents they were to me. I am simply stating that I am no ones achievements. I should not be reminded of the works of a few relatives who shaped my country to be what it is, simply because they held prestige in their time. I hold no prestige. I will die, I want my only memory to be that I aspired to be the most pleasing to Allah swt. I will not be judged alongside my grandfathers or my fathers. I will be judged alone. Their achievements will not make Allah's judgement on me less harsh or more harsh, wal ilm indAllah. I can take the pride and feel that it makes me a somebody, but a fool I would be to be a somebody in this world, and a nobody in the hereafter, a fool I would be.

So I aspire to continue on being me, Allaa. The good that I am is from Allah and the bad is from myself. All my achievements, are not my own, but a blessing from Allah. If I choose the path of wanting seniority in this world, I have made a decision in choosing between the dunya and the akhira; and if I hold that same seniority, what will happen to it when I die, for verily the destroyer of pleasures is death. What will my abode be in the hereafter, if my abode here was living in man's feeble mind?

2011-06-17T19:39:00.000-07:00

A few nights ago, I was looking back at my earlier posts on this blog. A lot has changed, I feel that I have transformed so much so in the way I type, the topics I write about, and generally how I tend to manage things. I began this without one thing in mind, I just knew I wanted to write. Coincidently, my words always tend to revolve around Islam so I figured that whatever I do talk about, would have an Islamic undertone. Not from me having any knowledge about Islam, but from my experiences in being a Muslima.

We all go through life the same way. We are born, we live, we die. But through that, we are all strangers. We are all going through life in the same way, differently. Some succeed in things other consider hardships, some trample on addictions that lead them down a wrong path, some invest their time and money in temporary items, etc. It doesn't matter what we are going through, but how we handle it. I wanted my writings to be the way I handle things. I wanted to write about my experiences. I wanted to just...type.

Some might think it's silly for me to just want to type, because...what the heck am I typing about? I don't know ! I just type. It's rare that I have a topic beforehand. I just open my blogger and either begin typing or most of the time add a photograph and get inspired from that.

I can want this to be an exclusively Islamic blog meaning I only type about Qur'an and Hadith, about books to increase your Eman, about techniques before Ramadan that'll prepare you. I can, but this blog that I have now, isn't. Islam IS my life, Islam IS my everything, and that's why most of the things I say always have an Islamic undertone. Everything I say, I try to make it appropriate according to Islam's standards. Not for anyone, but because I will be judged for what I write. I'm not perfect, I'll make mistakes, & I'm saying that in the future tense (insha'Allah) because I'm human. I am bound to err. I am bound to stumble and make mistakes.

So this is my personal blog. Every topic, is what I'm going through. Every reminder is for me first. Every post is genuine. What you find, you may benefit from, or might ward you off; but in the end, this is me. Why make it personal or private? Because nothing I say here is anything I consider personal, It's all a part of my personality; but I make it my intentions to not speak of my family members unless it's harmless, to never speak about my friends, unless they are aware and it's still harmless, and to never use names when I reiterate a story. what I do consider close to personal (hence why I have a label; personal) are the things that are solely stories from my life, not hadiths or ayahs.

I don't know where this rant came from, all I wanted to talk about was the rain...but this came out.

& I did.

2011-06-17T00:45:00.001-07:00

I do my thing and you do your thing. You are you and I am I, and if in the end we end up together, it's beautiful.

2011-06-13T14:07:00.001-07:00

-Topanga from Boy meets world.

44:22 071106

2011-06-08T11:32:00.000-07:00

2011-06-05T21:09:00.000-07:00

Attention to detail is crucial. As it has always been, it will continue to always be for me. I notice the intricate details of things, I notice things before I say things, I notice things before I notice that I've noticed something. It never ceases to amaze me that sometimes people focus on the big picture and neglect the details that make the picture what it is. Take for example a painting by Picasso...from afar, it is a beauty. It is stunning and it is well painted (whatever the painting/drawing is). Now if you look closer, the picture may seem like it loses its beauty, because now you are simply focusing on brush strokes and/or lines from a pencil. You are only noticing fine print or color at a closer angle. However, THAT is what makes the picture the stunning and immaculate masterpiece that it is. It is the smooth brush strokes painted on effortlessly that make the bigger picture worth looking at, worth understanding, and worth appreciating. It takes the smaller things to make the larger than life things, just that. larger than life.

I, on the other hand; am a complete hypocrite. At times I am unaware of the small intricate details and jump to focus on the larger picture, not understanding how it came to be nor understanding what it took to get there. That's my unappreciation. My quest to divulge myself in the picture, without understanding the beauty of the brush strokes, without the fine pencil lines, and without looking at things from a closer perspective.

Until then, my focus will be on the smaller things, the overlooked things, the things you don't want to have to talk about. Because I want to talk about them. I want to understand them. I want to see things from far away and from a closer perspective.

Why are you the way you are?

A story.

2011-06-05T21:00:00.001-07:00

This is a story about strawberries. Nothing more, nothing less.

2011-06-03T00:05:00.000-07:00

What perplexes me is the inconsistency. I ask for a dime and I get a nickel. Mind you, I didn't even ask for that dime, in all honesty. I was just...being. I was given it; alhamdulilah. However, I like consistency. Show me consistency. Show me human, don't show me male. Don't show me female. Show me the true essence of a human being; because when all else fails, my preconceived notions of you will always be the same; and as much as I hate comparison; I will compare you to what I hold to be the best, because we all should strive for the best, nothing less. We should all want the best, do our best, give our best. There should not be any question about that. What we want, we should be assertive about, and we should strive to achieve it. What is ours, by the mercy of Allah will be ours and what is not ours, will not be given to us. Simple. These are the realities of reality in these times in which fantasy has taken over our understanding of realness.

2011-06-02T23:44:00.000-07:00

You grow & mature and understand what it is you like, love, run after, and realize that sometimes; sometimes...we don't know what we want, but we want it at the moment just so we can say we have it. There were many times when I was shopping with a friend and I would get a dress or shoes from the rack that at the moment I think about wearing, but end up never wearing. Knowing full well that inside, I knew I never planned on wearing it; but in the heat of the moment, I wanted it. Shopper's guilt, I'll call it. That spills over to my personal life because sometimes I catch myself going after something I never want in the first place, I just want it at the moment. You grow & mature and understand what it is you like, love, run after, and realize that sometimes...what we think we want and what we actually deserve for ourselves, are two different matters.

2011-05-30T23:28:00.000-07:00

I didn't choose my color. I didn't choose my culture. I didn't choose my sex. I didn't choose why I am the way I am. I chose Islam. I chose love & I chose unity. Be it hard, be it difficult, be it milestones to overcome, I chose truth. I chose what pleases my Lord more than what pleases the people. I chose. & had I had a choice about my color, my culture, my sex, & why I am the way I am. I would have chosen exactly what I am now. Alhamdulilah.

life lessons

2011-05-29T20:13:00.000-07:00

There`s a lesson here somewhere, I just have to buckle up and drive to the destination of understanding it. There's a blessing in this, I just have to have Sabr and put my trust in Allah swt, completely and effortlessly.

I wasn't put on this earth to eat what I desire & look at what I please. I was put on this earth to serve Allah swt; and through serving Him I am going to be tested, tested to ensure that my commitment is to Him. To ensure that my trust is in Him. To ensure that I am sincere enough in my actions & intentions; and that I am inevitably serving Him; through all my actions.

I`m not the same as I used to be, nor are you. Nor is anyone on this earth. We're not who we used to be yesterday. Every moment since, has renewed us; almost purified us; giving us a chance to better, giving us a chance to outshine from our grimy pasts. We misuse those moments by gratifying ourselves with more dirt that eventually covers all of our hearts. These moments have lessons, these moments have blessings; and only the wise will see them; because his eyes are closed yet the heart is open for guidance.

My stay here is short, it's not always sweet; and NOT close to simple. However I can make the best out of it by understanding my purpose, knowing why I am doing the things I am doing, and to make sure I never stop doing good. The second I stop doing good, is the moment I have begun doing bad.

No need for me to fill my calendars with goals I want to achieve, if I don't know why I want to do them. There is absolutely no need for me to think about tomorrow, if today, I hadn't prepared for yesterday. That makes sense, no? I can't be a better person tomorrow, if I hadn't repented today; for yesterday's sins. Yeah?

I don't know where this "rant" is coming from; but I know that there is a lesson in it, and a blessing in it. Le sigh*

Be with the Carriers of Books

2011-05-27T19:43:00.000-07:00

It is reported that Imâm ‘Abd Al-Rahmân b. Mahdî – Allâh have mercy on him – said, following a mention of the Sȗfîah (Sufis):

Do not sit with them, nor with the followers of Kalâm.⁽¹⁾ Be with the carriers of books,⁽²⁾ for they are like mines, like those who descend: one brings up a gem and another a nugget of gold.

Ibn Battah, Al-Ibânah Al-Kubrâ article 483.

(1) Speculative theology, drawn from foreign philosophy and logic, as practiced by sects such as the Jahmia and Mutazila.

(2) Arabic al-qamâtir: covers or folders used to keep written material. ‘Carriers of books’ refers to the scholars and students who occupied themselves with Islamic knowledge and hadîth.

2 more summer classes to go. Maybe 3. Let`s hope for 3

2011-05-26T00:46:00.001-07:00

& then I get to ~~relax~~ for 2 weeks before Fall semester begins.

2011-05-26T00:45:00.000-07:00

It is said that Imām Shāfiýī was asked a question and he was silent for a long time. He was asked again whether he would answer it or not. He replied, ‘I am yet to decide what is better: to answer or to keep quiet’.

qul bimā shiyta fī masabbati írđī
fa sukūtī áni’l laýīmi jawāb
mā ana ádimu’l jawābi walākin
mā mina’l usdi an tujība’l kilāb

Say what you will in abuse,
My silence is an answer to the scoundrel –
I am not devoid of an answer, but:
It is not necessary for a lion to answer the dogs.

Dīwān ash-Shāfiýī p.143; Aĥsanu’l Qasas 4/106

2011-05-24T21:24:00.000-07:00

hello. no more goodbyes. more hellos. so, hello. until next time.

2011-05-24T21:20:00.000-07:00

Last night to study for parasitology. I wish I had more motivation and focus. All I can think about is taking the exam, but not preparing for it. Nonetheless, my break is almost over and I go back to studying. I can't wait to go home. The harder I study, the better I do, the more worth my time with them will be. Insha'Allah.

Really...nothing in life is hard. The hardest things are the ones that ask for our time and energy. WE are a lazy creation that lives off of not doing anything. That's why things are hard, not because we can't do them, but because we don't want to. Yet when something is easy, we are the first to be in line. It's easy to lose patience, to be angry, to disrespect, to leave, to name-call, to fight...it's easy to not pray, to not fast, to not wear proper attire. It's all easy. But it doesn't make the right thing HARD, it makes constantly doing the right thing difficult. We struggle with steadfastness. That's our weakness. Doing the right thing requires steadfastness in order for it to be implemented correctly (and sincerity) and that's what causes it to be difficult; because again, it takes time and effort.

But wallaahi, it is worth it. It's worth it to know you've dedicated endless hours learning Arabic, only to succeed in understanding, speaking, and writing it; only to read the Qur'an with it, and speak to the people with it. It makes it worthwhile and beneficial for you to teach it to others who will teach it to others, etc. It's worth it to know you've spent endless nights in prostration, in seeking Allah's pardon, in seeking His mercy, only to make it to Jannah having sacrificed your time for Him. It's worth it to know you've spent your time studying for classes endlessly, only to get that A you worked hard for. You give it your all. You go hard or you go home. & to a champ, going home is not an option. You do it. You do it with what you have. May Allah make ALL the exams I have tomorrow easy for me, and may I get the grade I deserve with the effort I put in this class. Ameen.

...rarely to be found

2011-05-24T20:36:00.000-07:00

A poet had once said,

“Jewels are stones, but cannot be found everywhere;
the sandal tree is a tree, but does not grow in every forest;
as there are many elephants, but only one king elephant,
so there are human beings all over the world,
but the real human being is rarely to be found.”

The Methodology of Seeking Knowledge

2011-05-23T16:29:00.001-07:00

by: Sheikh Salih Ibn Abdul Aziz Ali Sheikh

New read for the summer, insha'Allah.

2011-05-23T14:58:00.000-07:00

Beautiful day. I have so much to say, but I`ll let it be said when I get that A+ in the class ;)
But then again...I`m spending my time blogging, because my fingers needed to talk. Call it a break? Extended!

A lesson about gossip & backbiting

2011-05-22T21:08:00.000-07:00

In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, “Do you know what I just heard about your friend?”

“Hold on a minute,” Socrates replied. “Before telling me anything I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”

“Triple filter?”

“That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. That’s why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“No,” the man said, “actually I just heard about it and..”

“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”

“No, on the contrary…”

“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left: the filter of usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”

“No not really …”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?”

-WHAT a beautiful lesson ! Will put into practice :)

2011-05-22T00:59:00.001-07:00

I just want to type.

My my MOON.

2011-05-22T00:55:00.000-07:00

Oh, MOON! How stunning, how ravishing, how immaculate, how exquisite, impeccable, impressive, remarkable, sensational, lovely, dazzling....how ...how nostalgic. How you bring me peace. How you bring me nothing but absolute serenity. My, my. What a galore of a summer. When things happen, we ask ourselves why, we question, we fumble with the right words to ask, and the right thoughts to think. We fumble with the right colors to describe the indescribable emotions we feel.

But then in the silence of the night, when the moon shines at its brightest, we know. We know that the words uttered were just echos of the past, resurfacing to test my faith, my hope, my life. Moments lived were just shadows of a life once lived in captivity. Feelings felt were just raindrops from a lost cloud in the desert. & when the moon shines its brightest, you know. You know that what we want, is never what is given to us. It is taken away because we are given what we need. We are given something more impeccable than what we wanted. & the moon shines bright, but our eyes shine brighter.

I don't know what I'm talking about but the words were just talked about and I can't. I can't explain HOW or when they did, but they did. It's the moon's fault. Its beauty ravished and captivated my heart. Its beauty, I surrendered to with my words. Words. Just words.

Secret; no longer

2011-05-21T01:30:00.000-07:00

I don`t know how to be a friend. Alhamdulilah I have been blessed with amazing people in my life whom I consider my sisters, if not, best friends. But I don't know how to be a friend. I know how to be friendly, I know when to say the right thing, I know when to be there and comfort, I know what not to say, and how to say things. I know to be honest or quiet, I know how to do the right thing...but I don't know what a friend is, how do I become this? Does it begin with being friendly and sharing secrets? or is it simply a title ...because a lot of things tend to be titles in this day of age. I know how to have friends and I am glad for them in my life, but I have not figured out just yet how to be a friend. I appreciate their patience and lack of noticing my shortcomings.

2011-05-20T19:48:00.000-07:00

Earlier today in my Parasitology class, we were to bring feces of some type. Other than our own! So...since I was the only one in the class without a dog, let alone a pet; I thought I would work with someone else. No worries. Until ...

until she brought me some of her dog's poo. Okay. No worries...except this dog had the most foul-smelling feces. I mean I know poo smells, but this was just unbelievable, even the dog owner attested to that fact.

After much complaining and my hijab suddenly becoming a face mask, I found hook worms in her dog's poo.

2011-05-19T17:29:00.000-07:00

These past few days, I`ve been having this insatiable desire to write, I`ve been fueled to pour my heart out, to describe my emotions in colors, to count my laughs in alphabetical order. I`ve been needing to let go of this pressure of my words being encapsulated, awaiting their release in every blink, every heart beat, every sigh*. I`ve been meaning and I have never felt the serenity as now. I haven't the fondest idea as to why this feeling is arising now, and here, and in this way; but I am happy. I am so happy, and I plan on being, on staying, on becoming even more. I plan on releasing these words, with the smiles on my face, the tears that accumulate with my laughter, with the beats in my heart, and the skips in my steps. This. This is the me i`ve been waiting for.

One of my fave wordicals

2011-05-17T12:47:00.000-07:00

2011-05-17T12:45:00.000-07:00

Story time

2011-05-16T00:49:00.000-07:00

Because I am refusing to allow my body to rest, although I should seeing as how tomorrow is going to be a long day, I will entertain my fingers by typing all the fun things that happened this week. by fun, I mean pathetic.

So this kid presented in my class and we're supposed to ask questions in the end. So I ask, a pretty dang good question too. I think it was "something something" so...the kid begins to answer, and the projector light is in his face I am laughing like a maniac as I type because it's so funny. & the kid looks like a doggone killer because the light is all up in his face and he has this serious face because he's talking about death...and LOL...he`s like "yeah...it causes death and..." says other really serious stuff. Here I am with this uncontrollable smile all over my face and then I'm thinking like...Yo, get that smile off your face, the kid`ll think you're laughing at him, and alhamdulilah I control my smile but it comes on again and I can't help it because I am trying super hard not to laugh out loud at him and in front of the class, but the whole situation...was...super...SUPER funny. You had...to have been there.

Tonight, I ordered pizza because I was running out of frozen foods and was too busy to cook. So I do, and the kid comes in like..15 minutes when they're supposed to come in like 25-30 minutes. Here I am complaining they came early and scramble to out the door, before I left, I looked to see if I had any change, and I didn't, so I go out and get the pizza. The kid begins asking me all types of personal questions like...what classes are you taking? All because I answered his question by stating that I'm studying. Any whose, I get the pizza and leave and as I'm going up the elevator...I start crying that I didn't give him a tip...I figured the only way he was asking about my day was because the poor kid probably had no one to talk to and was buy making pizza all day, talking to the flour, the sauce, the cheese, and the oven. I bet he was yelled at by his manager for talking to the inanimate things. I bet that he was talking so I could give him a tip, but I promise I didn't have any change...sigh...

THEN I ate my pizza like a boss. & forbade myself from ingesting anything else until I finished my exam. But I cheated, ate more, and eventually finished my exam. Alhamdulilah.

2011-05-16T00:37:00.000-07:00

Not again. This story will never end. But no story ever does. The beautiful thing about repetition, is that it improves your perception.

In the end, you start thinking about the beginning...

2011-05-14T23:07:00.000-07:00

& Life is bliss, life is peace, life is good, life is hard, life is tough, life is every adjective that comes to mind. Life is...what you make of it. You study hard, you get good grades. You clean and organize your room, you end up with an organized and clean room. You give, and you eventually get; usually in bigger forms than what you've given. You ~~love~~ live and you learn. You become this person who has...gone through life. In the end, you start thinking about the beginning, because the beginning of everything is bliss, the end of everything is beautiful, and the middle is where challenges are met and it makes you the person you eventually turn out to be. This is what parasitology class has done to me. Has me thinking about parasites and life...thank you, Balantidium coli :)

2011-05-14T00:21:00.000-07:00

I can`t sleep. All I want to do is write or read. Write or read? WRITE OR READ? Read...I found an amazing site; authentictranslations.com which has great reads from prominent scholars. It`s easy reads; meaning they are short, concise, and straight to the point. Not that long, in-concise, and not straight to the points are any less knowledgeable, but seeing as how we are in the ADD generation, short sorta, kinda, maybe...wins the race on this one. The site also has Q & A section which is great. Even if you already know the answers, it's good to understand them in case you're ever asked a question from the list. Not on it now, but I do believe there is an audio section? If not, my bad. The concept is that most of the works are by Scholars who speak Arabic, and the site translates their works into English! Which is great! Exclamation points!!! Once I`m done, I will finish a post I began in April; click here about Usool al sittah! I have NOT forgotten. I have only a little bit left and then I`ll most likely have a personal post about it (if needbeso) and/or begin on Class 2. These are not the works of my own. Just another reminder :)

Also, once I`m done with the authentictranslations.com site, I`ll post another site that has mad useful information regarding Islam. I don't want to just post them all at once, which I might end up doing anyways knowing how I am, but it`s better for me to go site by site, and finish once site (or nearly finish, or exhaust) before I move on and begin on another (although it's helpful). Can you tell I am indecisive ? lack of sleep...!

happy reading !

2011-05-13T23:38:00.000-07:00

Your mother.

May Allah protect our mothers, have mercy on our mothers, increase our patience with our mothers, increase our care, love, and responsibility over our mothers, increase patience in our mothers, increase good & sincere deeds of our mothers, guide our mothers, bless our mothers, give our mothers Jannatul firdouse, protect our mothers from the punishments of the grave, maseeh-al dajjal (& his fitna), punishment of the hereafter, & the fitnah of this dunya & the akhira. Ameen, summa Ameen.

A rose, for you.

2011-05-13T23:28:00.000-07:00

I love floral print, especially vintage roses. I have over 53+ photos of roses in my computer & I use them as background images, blogger topic images, tumblr, etc. I love floral print on clothe, especially dresses, but I don't like flowers...I don't like the idea of plucking them off the earth to be used as decorations. Flowers always remind me of death.

In High School, there were a few times a year where for certain events, flowers were being sold. of course, like everyone, I wanted a flower! A friend of mine bought me a rose, and as much as I enjoyed the gift, it became a hassle, knowing this flower will eventually die. I even toke floral design so I could appreciate flowers and be 'girly' and want them, but I only ended up appreciating them as they are, and in photos, rather than having them given to me as a present.

Whenever someone gave me roses, I've always appreciated them, and I even bought family & friend some, but...I`m not one of those people that love getting flowers as gifts. It takes away from their beauty, and it only reminds me of death. I mean, that's a good thing to be reminded of death, but not when the expected response is 'oooh, aaaah, waaaaw!'

2011-05-13T22:39:00.000-07:00

Are one words not your forte ? They are mine.

I don't know what I'm talking about. I just wanted to talk about the I don't know that I am experiencing right now.

backspace/

2011-05-13T10:02:00.000-07:00

The Exquisite Pearl

2011-05-09T20:14:00.000-07:00

Fortunate are those who avoid the destructive paths;

intending the stations of Allah's good pleasure.

Those who journey with the utmost sincerity;

Following the legislation by which faith is measured.

Those who build the stations of their journey;

Submitting between being fearful and being hopeful.

Those whose hearts the Divine has filled;

With devotion to Him and love for the Most-Merciful.

Those who remember Him and do so abundantly;

In private, public, at all times in continuance.

Seeking nearness to the Sovereign-Master;

By obeying Him and forsaking disobedience.

Doing what is obligatory and optional is their way;

Inspecting their own faults and their deficiencies.

Their souls patiently enduring all that is disdainful;

Desirous of what it entails of benevolance.

They arrive at the Station of Contentment;

Ultimately reaching the Garden and safety.

For His bounties to His creation they are grateful;

With their heart, tongues, and limbs of their body.

Reliance is their companion in all affairs;

Whilst striving in the pleasure of the All-Merciful.

Worshipping the Divine, believing in His presence;

Thus taking thier place at the Station of Excellence.

Advising others to that which pleases thier Lord;

With knowledge, guidance, and compassion.

Accompanying the people in bodily form;

Whilst their spirits dwell at a sublimer station.

They alert creation to their complete need for Allah;

continuously fearing a decrease in their faith.

Their hearts turning away from all distractions;

Completely emptied of other than the most-Mercifcul.

Their movements, concerns, and their resolves;

Are all for Allah, not creation, nor the Devil.

The best of friends is the seeker of these paths;

Which leads to acquiring goodness and ihsan

From the Exquisite Pearl

Overall, another good day. Everyday is a good day; alhamdulilaah.

2011-05-09T15:45:00.001-07:00

goals? or statements ?

2011-05-08T22:58:00.000-07:00

Summer classes already begin tomorrow (today) at 9 AM.
Planning on waking up at 745. Leaving at 841. Walking. Walking. Walking. Getting there at 8:55ish?
Class begins at 9.
Until 220.
My.
Goodness.
I need to go to the library & get books. books. MORE books to read.
Must make a list (hence the bullet galore going on right now) of the books I want/ will read.
On the list ? Malcolm X biography & the biography of Che Guevara
Also some of the other books I haven't finished.
And others I plan on rereading.
Mkay, life. Here goes nothing but passion to do the best I can with what I have.
New chapter. New life. New memories to be made. New everything.
Even though that new began a few weeks back, it doesn't hurt to renew anything once again.

2011-05-07T13:59:00.000-07:00

What I thought would take 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 months. Took 1 hour and 37 minutes. 1 hour & 37 minutes...60 minutes plus 37 minutes to equal the grand total of 97 minutes. 5820 seconds. Alhamdulilaaah.

Apparently

2011-05-07T13:53:00.000-07:00

Apparently, I don't dress my age.

Abayaas are for older women.

Widowed women.

Women whom have nothing better to wear.

Women who are unattractive.

Apparently, I don't dress my age.

What is my age? 22

Let me dress my age.

Leggings & T-shirts.

Short summer dresses.

Short shorts.

Skinny jeans.

But again, what is dressing your age?

When it comes to modesty?

It knows no age. 7, 15, 22, 31, 43, 55, 62, 73, 87, 103 yr olds.

Modesty knows no age.

& the funny thing is, I should actually

dress more

modestly.

I actually need

more more

abayaas.

black. black . black abayaas.

ACTUALLY.

I need a niqab.

Maybe then...I`d be dressing my age

but no one would be able

to tell

my age.

because the age I would be, would simply be

modesty.

In the eyes of Allaah. The only One whom I am

striving to please.

2011-05-05T13:39:00.000-07:00

2011-05-02T21:54:00.000-07:00

Taking a break from studying for finals.

SubhanAllah the days are going by so fast, they're starting to blur. Summer is right around the corner, and I will be in this town, away from my family and close friends. Alhamdulilah khair. There will be absolutely no distractions, but I do like the distractions of my friends. They will be missed. I have one final tomorrow, 2 finals on Wednesday, one final on Thursday, and a take home due anytime between now and Thursday. I am not the least bit worried, alhamdulilah. May Allah make my exams easy, may I retain the information I am studying in, and may I get A's on all my exams. Ameen.

what a boring post !

Son, have you put it into practice?

2011-05-01T12:19:00.001-07:00

‘Atâ’ narrates that there used to be a young man who used to go to Mother of the Believers ‘Â’ishah to ask her questions and she would narrate to him. One day, he came to her to ask her some questions. She said, “Son, have you put into practice what you hear from me yet?” He replied, “No mother, I have not.” So she said, “Son, why do you them seek to increase Allah’s proof against us and you?!”
Al-Khatîb Al-Baghdâdî in Iqtidâ’ Al-’Ilm Al-’Amal no. 92.

2011-05-01T12:17:00.000-07:00

Be still my heart, be patient. be silent, be good. Finals week should make me nervous, but alhamdulilah the pace is making me calm. There is so much to do so much to see so much to talk about, and it makes me content. I am blessed to be alive, to see, to hear, to touch, to feel, to be. I just need to keep using my time wisely, to write, and to keep being. Be still my heart, be patient, be silent, be good. Let the mind wander, it's logic will lead it to an effervescent ordeal, but be still my heart. Alhamdulilaah.

Like a train on a track

2011-05-01T12:10:00.000-07:00

2011-04-26T09:07:00.000-07:00

We all make choices. We all make decisions. We all choose, we all decide. That is life; Allah made us with the ability to choose.
You made a choice. I made a choice.May Allah make you pleased with it. May Allah make me pleased with it,
Ameen.

2011-04-24T12:08:00.001-07:00

Ibn Qayyim said:

"Man consists of the mind of an angel, the lust of an animal, and the fancy of Satan. One of them will prevail. If you could overcome your fancy and lust, you will be in a rank that is higher than an angel. And if your fancy and lust beat you, you will be in a rank that is less than a dog."

(al-Fawaa'id, p.121)

Class 1; Intro (Usool al sittah) Six Principles of Imaam Muhammad Ibn Abd'ul-Wahaab

2011-04-23T00:13:00.000-07:00

Someone sent me these 6 classes, and I am ecstatic because I really want to benefit from them. The best way for me to truly understand something is to write it down, second best way is to type it, and third best way is to type it on my blog so that others may also benefit from me re-typing and commenting on these works of Imaam Muhammad Ibn Abdu'ul-Wahaab rahmimullah.What it is normally typed is from his works, what is in colored italics, is my commentary (if any). Enjoy !

Remedy for Splitting in Religion

On the Authority of Irbaadh Ibnu Saariyah: The Prophet (sallah Allaahu alayhi wa salam) said : "I advise you with the taqwa of Allah, and to hear and obey (your leader), even if he is an Abysinnian Slave. For verily, whoever amongst you lives for long after me will see great differences. So upon you is to follow my Sunnah and the Sunnah of my rightly-guided successors (caliphs). Hold fast to it (the Sunnah) and bite onto it with your molar-teeth. And beware of the newly-invented matters, for every newly-invented matter is misguidance."

The Messenger of Allah (sallah Allaahu alayhi wa salam) said: "The Jews split into 71 sects, one will be in Paradise (those who followed Musa (alayhi al salam) ) and 70 will be in the Fire. The Christians split into 72 sects, 71 will be in the Fire and one will be in Paradise (those who followed Jesus, followed, not worshipped). & by the One in whose Hand is the soul of Muhammed, this Ummah (nation) of mine will split into 73 sects; one will be in Paradise, and 72 will be in the Fire." It was asked, "Who are they, O Messenger of Allah?" He (peace be upon him) said, "Al-Jamaah (the group which adheres steadfastly to the way of the Prophet, peace be upon him, and his Companions." In another narration, "Those who follow what I and my companions are following."

"Verily, those who divide their religion and break up into sects (all kinds of religious sects), you (O Muhammad) have no concern in them in the least. Their affair is only with Allah, Who then will tell them what they used to do." [Al-An'aam 6:159]
"And be not of Al-Mushrikun (the disbelievers in the Oneness of Allah, polytheists, idolaters, etc). Of those who split up their religion(the true Islamic Monothesism), and became sects, (invented new things in the religion, bid'ah), and followed their vain (desires), each sect rejoicing in that which is with it. " [Rum 30:31-32]

Why all this differing?

Iraadat ul Kawniyyah: Universal Desire of Allah is that we are ALL guided and upon the straight path.
Iraadat ush-Shar'iyyah: Legislative Desire. Allaah has a desire that what he legislates is ESTABLISHED.

What is the answer to all this differing?

Simple...

Hold on to the Rope of Allaah (Qu'ran)
Do not be DIVIDED in religious understanding.

"And hold fast, all of you together, to the Rope of Allah (Qur'an), and be not divided amongst yourselves, and remember Allah's Favour on you, for you were enemies one to another but He joined your hearts together, so that, by His Grace, you became brethren(in Islamic Faith), and you were on the brink of a pit of Fire, and He saved you from it. Thus Allah makes His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.,) clear to you, that you may be guided. " (Aali Imran 3:103)

Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimullah said in Minhaj As-Sunnah "The Rope of Allah is Al-Islaam and obedience, and submission, and sincerity, and holding fast, and being firm, and being with the Jama'ah"

Alright, the rope of Allah is Islaam. I am a Muslimah, alhamdulilah; but even I don't act upon all that is legislated in Islam. I can do better by applying all that I do know, and learn what I do NOT know, so that I may apply it and strengthen the Rope to Allah.

In Obedience I can Obey Allah in all that He legislated, and not question anything unless it's to better my understanding. In my Obedience I need to improve on the acts I am already doing, and get on the ones that I am not. I must obey Him in my intentions, actions, behaviors, attitude, thinking, feeling, and all types of doing.

Submission is to submit myself to every aspect of Islam and the Sunnah. To submit wholeheartedly and to learn and learn and learn, and apply apply and apply all that I do learn.

In sincerity is when I need to take Islam, Obedience, Submission, and all other acts and be as sincere as I can in them. To not do it to show off nor to get someone's attention; but rather for Allah swt. I need to be sincere in my intentions because as the salaf used to say, a small deed can become great with intention while a great deed can become small, with intention. Be sincere Allaa, your return is to Allah, you are held accountable for your actions and you will meet Him with your acts. All insincere actions will be exposed and no one but you will be humiliated. Allah created you to serve him, so serve Him in the best of intentions and in the most sincere way. I have to always check my intentions.

deen may seem easy, but it's hard. It's hard to be good. It's so easy to be bad and divulge into vain desires and whims and lusts and gratification. It's hard to pray 5 times a day, fasting a month of Ramadan, wearing Hijab, wearing loose clothing, actually COVERING up. But as hard as it is, it comes easy, because holding fast is a struggle, and it is a struggle that will insha'Allah bring me closer to Allaah. Now I always have to stop and think before I do anything, because I need to know what reason I'm doing it for and if it should be done. I live away from my family, so I need to stay grounded with where I am and not be caught up with unnecessary situations. I would rather suffer in drastic boredom, than compromise my deen by not holding fast to the one component that makes me who I am.

I have to be firm in my decisions, I have always been a bit indecisive in my life, and Islam is my life. I can't be indecisive about whether I should go to this event where there is mixing, when I know the answer to it already. I need to realize that people will stare and make rude comments because of the way I dress and the way I carry myself, but I have to stay firm. I need to be firm in that not everyone is accepting of my Deen, even fellow Muslims, but I need to stay firm; for the sake of Allah.

I need to be with the Jama'ah, the people of the deen. the people of the Ummah, the righteous, the people of knowledge, the salaf of the Ummah.

Insha'Allaah I'll finish the rest tomorrow (or another time). It's nearly bed time. For anyone that read this, I hope you benefited from it.

Edit* Back to the last thing Ibn Taymiyyah said from his book "& being with the Jama'ah"...

Jama'ah in the language is from "Ijtimaa' (a gathering, where people come together, uniication) and it's the oppositite of dispersal and separation. The Jama'ah in this sense are a peopl who have united together on a certain matter/affair.

Jama'ah in the usage in the Shariah is defined as the salaf of this Ummah, from amongst the Sahabas (companions) and the Taabi'een (successors of the companions) & whoever follows them in goodness till the Day of Judgement. They are those who unite themselves upon the Book and the Sunnah and upon their leaders (thier scholars) and those who travel upon that which the Messenger, His companions and those who followed them in goodness were upon.".

Ahl us-Sunnah wal-Jamaa'ah

By the word Jama'ah, the totality of Muslims is not meant. Nor those who are the largest in number or the great majority. This is because the Messenger mentioned that the Taa'ifat ul-Mansoorah is a single group from amongst the 73 groups (remember the earlier hadith about the Jews splitting into 71 sects, Christians splitting into 72 sects, and Muslims splitting into 73 sects? The saved group from amongst the Muslims is the Jamaa'ah and it is referred to as Taa'ifat ul-Mansoorah which is synonymous with the term Ahl us-sunnah wal-jama'ah, the aided group).

Now that background information was given, the intro of al usool us-sittah (6 fundamentals) begins.

What do you say before you begin anything? Bismillaah, or better yet, Bismillah ir Rahmaan ir Raheem which is defined as In the name of Allah, Most Merciful, Most kind. This saying is called Basmalah.

Ar-Rahmaan: is a word that is exclusive to Allah alone. It describes Allah as the One who has unlimited Mercy.

Ar-Raheem: is a word that is general and it describes Allah as having Mercy that extends to others.

more to come...

2011-04-22T20:07:00.000-07:00

I want to say something, but I wont. I will bite my tongue. However, my tongue is now full of bites and it's starting to be painful, maybe if I open my mouth a little bit, ya know, to let it air heal...I promise I wont say anything, you can trust me. I`m just going to open up a teeny weeny bit, no harm...

What? :)

2011-04-20T23:47:00.000-07:00

I want to sleep. But the world doesn't want me to sleep. It's keeping me up with unnecessary stops to the kitchen to make countless cups of delicious ahmad tea, nonstop eating of varieties of chocolaty foods, and endless internet browsing. I land on beneficial topics and I escape nonchalantly to losing brain cells in wasting my time and decreasing my amazing ability of seeing well as I stare at this computer screen. I am a night owl. No, since I have a slight fear of the owls, yes, THE owls, I will call myself, a night giraffe. This is where my mind shuts off half way and a slight smile comes across my face as I reminisce about the glorious memories of the day. I am doing a better job than I had imagined, this is where my soul spills. Where is my paper and pen? I want to write, but to type, is the quick way. Sometimes I publish the posts that seem so unpersonal when I am typing, only to awaken in horrific fear of the world reading my most personal of personals. I then unpublish them. But times like these, when my eyes are glazed over with hunger in my heart, I care not. I simply smile the care away. I care the smile away.

alhamdulilaah.

2011-04-19T19:44:00.000-07:00

I hate only a few things in life. I hate using the word hate, it denotes too much hatred and negativity, but I hate not using it to describe the exploding feeling of deeply not liking something to the point of disgust and no return. I hate whiteout. What exactly is it good for? To cover up the marks and mistakes of the pens? Why not just cross out the line or use a new sheet of paper? That's like punching someone in the heart and covering up the pain with a band-aid. What good is the band-aid for? But in this situation, I would use white out. Because I KNOW what was under the cover-up, and I am aware of covering up. Plus, the result is that for the untrained eye, there was nothing wrong in the first place. & that's A O K by me.

2011-04-19T00:19:00.000-07:00

No sleep. Work, work, work, study , study. Anything but nothing; because nothing brings everything back, and I'm doing a fine job getting away from everything. I am doing a better job for me. I wish more people would do what's right more than what's easy. I wish I could not get over that one small, SMALL detail. Maybe I'm sleep deprived and I'm pouring my heart out, but we all should every once in a while. blah blah blah.

2011-04-18T14:13:00.000-07:00

How much should I?

2011-04-18T14:05:00.000-07:00

It is reported that Wahb b. Munabbih – Allâh have mercy on him – said:

A scholar once asked another greater than him in knowledge, “How much should I build?” He replied, “As much as shelters you from the sun and the rain.” He asked, “How much food should I eat?” He replied, “More than what keeps you hungry and less than what makes you full.” He asked, “How much should I wear?” He replied, “As the Messiah (Jesus) did.” He asked, “How much should I laugh?” He replied, “As much as appears on your face but does not make audible your voice.” He asked, “How much should I cry?” He replied, “Never tire from crying out of the fear of Allâh.” He asked, “How much should I hide my deeds?” He replied, “Until people think you had not done a good deed.” He asked, “How much should I make public my deeds?” He replied, “As much as will let the keen follow your example but not have the people talk about you.”

Wahb said. “Everything has two ends and a middle. If you grab one end, the other will slant, but if you take the middle, both ends will balance. Stick to the balanced middle in all affairs.”

Abû Nu’aym, Hilyatu Al-Awliyâ` 4:45.

Backbiting & Brotherhood

2011-04-18T13:02:00.000-07:00

It is reported that Al-Fudayl b. ‘Ayyâd said, “When backbiting appears, brotherhood for Allâh will disappear; and at that time you will be like things plated with gold and silver: wooden on the inside, [merely] looking good on the outside.”
Abû Nu’aym, Hilyah Al-Awliyâ`, Vol. 3 p395.

2011-04-17T21:42:00.000-07:00

mmm...chocolate cake & ahmad tea. makes me think too much about life, rather than focusing on my taste-buds. At this point, I am a seesaw with the moon. Sometimes it's pleasant, other times it's so VERY unpleasant. It's quite interesting how one person can change your views on the whole of the population. This Summer, I plan on going to Sudan. I am excited. I am excited because there's a higher chance of me NOT going. I am simply excited for the possibility. Inshaa'Allaaah. Hmm...

2011-04-15T17:56:00.000-07:00

Little brother is almost my height ! Gaah

Subhan'Allaah, how the days pass by.

2011-04-14T17:38:00.000-07:00

"If Allah presents you with knowledge, then present Him with worship, and do not let your only concern be to narrate it to the people."

- Abu Qilabah (d. 104H) rahimahullah. Related by al-Khaattib in Iqtida’ul-‘Ilmil-‘Aml 37.

2011-04-11T19:57:00.000-07:00

Tonight was nothing short of amazing. We walked up the highest building in the university & saw Saturn through a telescope, then the moon, then all the stars ! They told me all about the stars and when I thought I had asked all the questions I could, I just kept asking more questions! THEN more of the girls came and by that time, me and z snuck out of the gate and into the vast opening of the place and it...was...ecstatic! I have never felt so free and amazing and refreshed and...so much laughter. So many smiles. So many great memories were made. Alhamdulilah.

Faith is not just in the heart [definition of Eman]

2011-04-11T17:09:00.000-07:00

Imâm Al-Awzâ’î – Allâh have mercy on him – said:

Faith (îmân) is not sound except with [correct] words. Faith and words are not sound except with [good] works. And faith, words and deeds are not sound except with [the correct] intentions in conformance to the Sunnah. Those who went before us of our Salaf did not separate faith from deeds: deeds are a part of faith, and faith is from [ones deeds]. îmân is a word that brings together these aspects of the religions [of Allâh] and is confirmed through [a person's] works.

So whoever believes in word, knows in his heart and confirms [his belief] through his works, then this is the strongest handhold that will never break. And whoever says [words of faith] but does not know [faith] in his heart nor confirms it with his works, it will never be accepted of him and he will be in the hereafter from those who suffer in loss.

Ibn Ba tt ah, Al-Ibânah Al-Kubrâ article 1097.

4 eyes

2011-04-11T17:05:00.000-07:00

We take our sight for granted. Sitting here at school at my favorite spot where I can see the rest of this town through the window, I noticed a man walking with a stick, tapping at the sidewalk ; he was wearing dark glasses and carrying a cart of soda (to refill the soda machines). Subhan'Allah.

We take our sight for granted when we see things that Allah dislikes, we don't think about the gift we have, and for most; the gift we will continue to have later today and insha'Allaah for the rest of our lives. We're too preoccupied filling our eyes with sin and touching sin and smelling sin and being around sin, and sinning.

The eyes. We see everything with our eyes. But sometimes I too, wish I was blind; so that Allah may open my heart's eyes. But, alhamdulilah for all that I have, alhamdulilahh for all that I do not have, and alhamdulilah for all that I did have and was taken from me.

It is reported that Khâlid b. Ma’dân – Allâh have mercy on him – said:
There is not a person except he has four eyes: two in his head with which he sees the matters of this worldly life, and two in his heart with which he looks to the matters of the hereafter. So if Allâh wants good for his servant, He opens his heart’s eyes, and so he perceives what he has been promised in the unseen world. Thus he is saved from the unseen [punishment] through the unseen [reward for the obedient].
Al-Dhahabî, Siyar A’lâm Al-Nubalâ` 4: 543

2011-04-10T00:40:00.000-07:00

Salman Al Farisee said:

“When Allah intends the destruction of a slave (due to his evil nafs), He strips him of shame”.

Hilyat Al Awliyaa, 1/204.

Subhan'Allaah; ! may Allah protect us from that, ameen.!

"I do not love that which Allaah does not love"

2011-04-10T00:06:00.001-07:00

When Sa’id bin Jubair (radiyaAllahu ‘anhu) entered into the court of the ruthless governor, Al-Hajjaj bin Yusuf Ath-Thaqafi, the latter asked the former, “What is your name?”

“Sa’id bin Jubair.”

“Rather, you are ‘the miserable one, son of the broken one,” said Al-Hajjaj, immediately showing hostility towards Sa’id. This was the way he treated all of his enemies – basically, anyone who criticized him was his enemy.

“Rather, my mother knows my name better than you do,” said Sa’id, with the calmness and composure that one should show when responding to an ignorant person.

“You are wretched, and so is your mother,” said Al-Hajjaj.

“As for the unseen world, One other than you knows it,” said Sa’id.

“I will cause you to change in this world with a blazing fire,” said Al-Hajjaj.

“Had I known that that was in your hands, I would have taken you as a god,” said Sa’id.

“And what do you say about Muhammad (sallaAllahu ‘alayhi wasallam)?” asked Al-Hajjaj.

“He is the Prophet of mercy, the Imam of guidance – may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him – and the Messenger of the Lord of all that exists, sent to all of mankind with a good exhortation.”

“And what do you say about ‘Ali bin Abu-Talib ?” Al-Hajjaj asked. “Is he in Paradise or in the Hell-fire?”

“Had I entered it, I would have seen its dwellers,” said Sa’id.

“And what do you say about the Caliphs (Khalifahs)?”

“I am not a guarantor for them,” said Sa’id.“Each person is held ransom for only that which his own hands have reaped.”

“Should I curse them or praise them?” Al-Hajjaj asked.

“I will not say that which I do not know,”said Sa’id. “I am required to be accountable only for the affairs of my own soul.

“Who among them do you like best?” Al-Hajjaj asked.

“The one whom the Creater (Allah ‘azawajal) is most pleased with,” said Sa’id.

“And who among them is Allah most pleased with?” Al-Hajjaj asked.

“The knowledge thereof is with the One who knows their secrets and their private discources,” said Sa’id.

“And what kind of a man will I be on the Day of Resurrection?” Al-Hajjaj asked.

“I am too insignificant for Allah to reveal to me the unseen world,” said Sa’id.

“You refuse to be truthful with me,” said Al-Hajjaj.

“To the contrary, (I said what I said because) I did not want to lie to you,” said Sa’id.

“Forget about all of this,” Al-Hajjaj said. “Tell me why you never laugh.”

“I have never seen anything that should make me laugh,” said Sa’id. “And how can a created being laugh when he was created from clay, which is consumed by fire!”

“Then what is the matter with us that we laugh?” asked Al-Hajjaj.

“Hearts (of people) are not at the same level,” said Sa’id.

“Have you ever seen any form of entertainment (i.e., musical instruments)?”

“I do not know what you are referring to,”said Sa’id. Al-Hajjaj then asked one of his underlings to bring a lute (a stringed instrument) and a flute. When they were brought and someone began to play the lute and blow into the flute, Sa’id began to cry.

“What is making you cry?” Al-Hajjaj asked.

“O Hajjaj, you have reminded me of a tremendous matter,” said Sa’id. “By Allah, after what I have seen here, I will never eat to satiety, quench my thirst, or wear (nice) clothing, and I will continue to remain in a state of sadness.”

“Fine, but what is your view concerning this entertainment?” Al-Hajjaj asked.

“O Hajjaj, by Allah, that is the sadness (I am referring to). As for this blowing instrument, it reminded me of a tremendous Day, the Day on which the trumpet will be blown. As for the lute, a tree was wrongfully cut (for it to be made). And as for the strings, they are from the bowels of sheep (which were wrongfully slaughtered (since they weren’t slaughtered for food or any beneficial use, but rather for forbidden entertainment)). They will be resurrected with you on the Day of Resurrection.”

“I am more beloved to Allah than you are?” Al-Hajjaj asked.

“No one goes to his Lord until he knows how he ranks with Him,” said Sa’id. “And Allah knows best about the unseen.”

“And how is it possible that I will not go to my Lord as I am today (i.e., dignified – as he deemed himself to be)?” said Al-Hajjaj. “I am with the Imam of the Jama’ah (the main body of Muslims), while you are with the Imam of division and Al-Fitnah (trial or tribulation, the source of discord).”

“I am not outside of the Jama’ah,” said Sa’id. “Nor am I pleased with the trials or tribulations; but the decree of Allah (‘azawajal) is executed: nothing can prevent it (from being executed).”

“What do you think about that which we are gathering for the Leader of the Believers?” Al-Hajjaj asked.

“I have not seen (what it is that you are gathering for him),” said Sa’id. Al-Hajjaj ordered for gold, silver, pearls, and precious jewels to be brought to him; when they came, he put them between the hands of Sa’id ibn Jubair.

“This is good, if you fulfill its condition,”said Sa’id.

“And what is its condition?” Al-Hajjaj asked.

“If you use what you gathered to purchase safety from the Greater Terror on the Day of Resurrection, then that is fine. Otherwise”

…every nursing mother will forget her nursling, and every pregnant one will drop her load… (22:2)

“Nothing that is gathered for the world is good other than that which is good and purified,” continued Sa’id.

“Then you consider our action of gathering (this wealth) good and pure?” Al-Hajjaj asked.

“In your view, you have gathered it,” said Sa’id. “And you know better whether it is good and pure (i.e., whether you have procured it through lawful means).”

“Would you like to have something from it (i.e., from this treasure)?” Al-Hajjaj asked.

“I do not love that which Allah does not love,” said Sa’id.

“Woe unto you!” exclaimed Al-Hajjaj.

“The destruction (that you have invoked upon me) is reserved for those who are sent away from Paradise and are made to enter the Hell-fire,”said Sa’id.

“Choose, O Sa’id, the method in which I will kill you,” said Al-Hajjaj.

“Choose for yourself, O Hajjaj,” said Sa’id.“For by Allah, whatever method you use to kill me, Allah will kill you in the same manner in the Hereafter.”

“Do you want me to forgive you?” Al-Hajjaj asked.

“If there is any forgiveness, then it is from Allah,” said Sa’id. “As for you, you have no exoneration and no excuse (for what you do).”

“Take him away and kill him,” said Al-Hajjaj to his guards. As Sa’id was being taken away, he laughed. When Al-Hajjaj was informed about his laughing (which was something novel for Sa’id), he ordered for him to be brought back to him. When Sa’id returned, Al-Hajjaj asked, “O Sa’id, what has made you laugh?”

“I became amazed at your temerity and brazenness in your dealings with Allah, which is contrasted by His forbearance and leniency towards you,” said Sa’id.

Al-Hajjaj then ordered for one of the guards to bring a Nat’a. A Nat’a was a special kind of carpet that was made of leather. It would be rolled out onto the ground on special occasions only – when someone was about to be killed or tortured. And its purpose was to prevent the blood of the person being tortured or executed from splattering all over the floor, especially if the floor was made of marble or expensive material, as was often the case in the castles of governors and leaders.When the Nat’a was laid out and Sa’id was moved onto it, Al-Hajja said to his guards, “Kill him.”

“First, let me perform two units of prayrer,” said Sa’id. Having faced the Qiblah and commenced his prayer, Sa’id recited this Verse:

Indeed, I have turned my face toward He who created the heavens and the earth, inclining toward truth, and I am not of those who associate others with Allah .”(6:79)

“Turn him so that he does not face the Qiblah,” said Al-Hajjaj. When the guards executed his instructions, Sa’id recited this verse:

…so wherever you turn yourselves or your faces there is the Face of Allah (2:115)

“Put his face onto the ground,” said Al-Hajjaj, more furious than he probably ever was before in his life. Referring to the ground and the earth, Sa’id then recited Allah’s saying:

From the earth We created you, and into it We will return you, and from it We will extract you another time. (20:55 )

“Slaughter him!” exclaimed Al-Hajjaj.

“I make you bear witness, O Hajjaj, that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah alone, and He has no partner, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger,” said Sa’id. “I keep these words with you in safekeeping, O Hajjaj, until you meet me on the Day of Resurrection.”

Sa’id then invoked Allah saying, “O Allah, do not give him the power to kill anyone after me.” They then killed him – may Allah have mercy on him.

After he was killed, Al-Hajjaj lived for only fifteen more days. In what remained of his days, he would constantly call out in pain, “What is it between me and Sa’id bin Jubair? Whenever I want to sleep, he takes me by the leg (to prevent me from sleeping).”

One narration indicates that he lived for forty days after he had killed Sa’id. It is mentioned in that narration that when he would sleep, he would see Sa’id in his dream. Sa’id would grab him by his garment and say, “O enemy of Allah! Why did you kill me?” While he was awake, Al-Hajjaj would ruefully say, “What is it between me and Sa’id bin Jubair, what is it between me and Sa’id bin Jubair?”

It is also reported that, during his last days, Al-Hajjaj became paralyzed, so that if he placed his hand on a burning stove, his skin would burn, yet he wouldn’t feel anything. Also, he became very ill; his illness was attributed to worms that entered into his body.

When Al-Hajjaj summoned for Al-Hasan Al-Basri to come to him, Al-Hasan simply said, “Did I not tell you: do not stand in the way of the scholars! You have killed Sa’id!”

“I didn’t call you here in order to ask you to supplicate for me (i.e., for my cure),” said Al-Hajjaj. “I only called you here so that Allah can grant me rest (i.e., death) from the condition that I am in.” Shortly thereafter, Al-Hajjaj died. And it would not be surprising if we were to learn that his last words were: “What is it between me and Sa’id bin Jubair!”

Hilyatul-Awliya’ 4/290-295,

Al-Bidayah wan-Nihayah 9/107-108,

Sifatus-Safwah 2/51-54.

Subhanallahh. May Allah make us all like this man; ameen. !

2011-04-09T22:54:00.000-07:00

I think I opened my windows earlier, & it`s raining quite hard. It`s actually thundering too. It's beautiful outside, the rumbles of thunder, the light across the night sky, the heavy rain. This is my kind of weather. I am too bedazzled to close the windows (or even check if they are open). Sitting here, mesmorized by the bounties of Allah; alhamdulilah.

I have an impulse problem. When I think of something enough times, I just end up doing it randomly. I've wanted to bake chocolate chip cookies since yesterday, at the hit of midnight, I sat on the kitchen floor mixing the ingredients with a fork; gaining some upper-arm muscle, I need a real mixer. But then I realized I can't just eat these cookies...I need to have a proper meal. I already finished all the fish sticks in the world and my tummy was rumbling for something new. I made rice. Now, rice seems to be the simplest food in the world to make; but I don't do simple. I wanted to make mama's infamous buttery rice. THAT took extra effort.

Alas, the rice was made; and I had some frozen sweet & sour chicken which I hadn't opened since I bought it 3 months ago. What? Frozen food lasts forever. So, there I am in the kitchen, with rice made and chicken ready to eat; plus chocolate chip cookies to dessert myself with...but now I don't feel like eating.

It's not that I was hungry, I just wanted to keep myself busy. Now...now I should get up and find something else to bake/cook before the thoughts begin lingering on. Maybe if I do some yoga or listen to another lecture, or read another book. Maybe...maybe I should start on my research paper? Anything but this nothing, I need to do something. I wish I was tired enough to sleep, but I am wide awake. Enjoying this thunderstorm; wishing I was outside trying to count the rain drops that fall from ~~my eyes~~ the sky.

Tawheed

2011-04-09T13:52:00.000-07:00

We tend to forget the most important aspect of being a Muslim; Tawheed. Tawheed is defined as the Oneness of Allah; that means belief that ONLY Allah is the illah(God), He has no partners, He wasn't born from another. It is He. Final. It could be better said with Surah al ikhlaas(quran.com);

112:1

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Sahih International

Say, "He is Allah , [who is] One,

112:2

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Sahih International

Allah , the Eternal Refuge.

112:3

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Sahih International

He neither begets nor is born,

112:4

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Sahih International

Nor is there to Him any equivalent."

That`s it. Seems so very simple to believe that Allah is one and that there is no partners, but we lose ourselves when we make celebrities our IDOLS, become fashion SLAVES, become obsessed with unnecessary things that further waste our time and our dedication to Allah's oneness.

We tend to put Tawheed at the back of our minds only because it's seemingly obvious and simple, yet we don't focus on it much. It may come to a surprise for many people that Tawheed is actually of 3 categories;

Tawheed ur-Ruboobiyah (Tawheed of Lordship)

This is with regard to Allah's actions, His creating, His giving provision, His giving life, His giving death, and so on.

Tawheed ul-Uloohiyyah (Tawheed of Allah's right to all worship)

This is in regard to the actions of the servants; that they worship Him alone, and that they commit no shirk with Him.

Tawheed ul-Asmaa` was-siffat (Tawheed of Allah's Names & attributes)

This is in regard to Allah's self & His names & His attributes as befits His Majesty. 'There is nothing like Him & He is the All Hearing, The All Seeing'

That being said, we must be willing to give up all these idols we tend to worship through emulating their behaviors, actions, sayings, 'swag', and begin emulating the Nabi Muhammad sallah Allaahu alyahi wa salam, the Sahaba(at) in order to humble ourselves and get closer to Allah with actions that are most loved by Him, through people most loved by Him. We need to either begin with Tawheed, or reinforce it better with our intentions, actions, behaviors, attitude, and so on. THIS is the first step if we are in need of improving our Eman, our Ikhlaas, our Modesty, our Khushoo, our all. May we all strive harder, to be better; ameen.

2011-04-08T13:45:00.000-07:00

Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) [regarding looking for a wife], “Look for the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper)!” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5090; Muslim, 1466)

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O you who believe, verily your Lord is One, and your father [Adam] is one. There is no superiority of an Arab over a non-Arab or of a non-Arab over an Arab, or of a red man over a black man or of a black man over a red man, except in terms of taqwa (piety). Have I conveyed (the message)?” They said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) has conveyed (the message).”

-(Narrated by Ahmad, 5/411; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Ghaayat al-Maraam, 313; it was also narrated from Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah that its isnaad is saheeh, in al-Iqtidaa’, 69).

Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Those who boast about their forefathers should desist or they will be less significant before Allaah than the beetle that rolls up the dung with its nose. Allaah has taken away from you the arrogance of Jaahiliyyah and its pride in forefathers, so a person is either a pious believer or a doomed evildoer. All the people are the children of Adam and Adam was created from dust.” -(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 3890; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, no. 3100; and in Ghaayat al-Maraam, 312, it was said that al-Tirmidhi and Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah classed it as saheeh).

Hence it should become clear to you that Islam does not discriminate between one Muslim and another by any earthly standards, whether that be colour, lineage, wealth or country. Rather the only criterion by which people are regarded as superior to others before Allaah is taqwa (piety, consciousness of Allaah).

Indeed, the sharee’ah commands the guardian of a woman, if a person comes to propose marriage who is religiously-committed and of good character and attitude, to hasten to arrange the marriage, and to beware of rejecting him and not accepting him, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry your daughter [or female relative under your care] to him, for if you do not do that then there will be much tribulation and mischief in the land.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, what if there is some other objection?” He said, “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, then marry your daughter [or female relative under your care] to him,” three times.

-Narrated by al-Tirmidhi; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 866

2011-04-08T13:26:00.000-07:00

"O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honourable of you with Allah is that (believer) who has At-Taqwa [i.e. one of the Muttaqoon (pious - see V.2:2). Verily, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware."

(Al-Hujurat 49:13)

"And it is He Who has created man from water, and has appointed for him kindred by blood, and kindred by marriage. And your Lord is Ever All-Powerful to do what He will."

(Al-Furqan 25:54)

Prophet, salla Allaahu 'alyhi wa sallam: "All of you are from Adam and Adam is from soil" ...suitability is in the deen, not in tribe, linage, money, hierarchy, diplomas, studies, profession or occupation.

-Shaykh Yahyah Al-Hajooree

2011-04-08T13:24:00.001-07:00

300 posts!!!

Wait...really?

...

My final words to you.(04/8)

2011-04-08T00:00:00.000-07:00

What do I do now, I mean I know what to do, but my body refuses to do it. I am sitting here. Just staring. Just typing. Just sitting. Just no movement except for my fingers. Saying it is easy, but actually doing is hard. I need to do, I need to move, I need to act. I need to be. I have been here before, and it isn't easy. It wasn't easy, it wont be easy; this is familiar, but yet slightly strange. & all the memories will crash at once in the morning, and all the opportunities will fade. All the smiles will linger, all the words will still be felt. Time will go slow, time will go fast. Time will do as it pleases, and I will do as I please. I will go along, like I always have.

I am trying to focus on the screen, but it's blurring; it's now a cascade of water colors splashing through the canvas. What do I do now? The onset of this blog was inhibited by motivation from the past. Must it end with the end, must it begin with the new, must I continue to dwell on rhetorical questions in need of answers, or absolute madness at the beginning of this end. Must I question the very answers I seek to question with amplitude and gratitude and bury my mishaps in the shallow grave of the past, or must I answer the very questions I seek to answer with confusion and array and lift up this life from the depths of life.

Do I make sense or is this madness consuming me, alluding me, to intercede on my own behalf and foresee the intense madness presumed with the onset of my own questions, delirious questions, questionable questions. Questions in search of their own colors to wow my world with oranges and yellows and greens and reds and anger and sadness and confusion and ...color my world with the words unfound in any book, in any language, in any where. Color them with shades of my emotions, stencil my words with hues of oceans of sadness and fill them in with punctuations of the still moments of happiness found in thee.

September, October, November, December, January, February, March, April. April fools. Was I a fool, I am a fool. Foolishly divulged into emotions even kings wish to buy with monies unfound in even the most elite ends of the world. I counted the days as I counted the stars, lost track and found a smile on my face. There is no counting happiness, there is only counting memories. So I counted the memories as I counted the feelings they eluded, lost track and found a smile on my heart. There is no counting memories, there is only counting moments. So I began to count the moments as I counted the love, lost track and found a smile in my life. There is no counting moments, there is no counting love. There is no counting when the dreams become the very reality we only fantasize about. This was a blessing, this is a blessing, I was sure.

April. April. April. Alhamdulilah, my Lord is my Savior, He is my Creator; to Him is my return. Through Him, my happiness manifests itself into a form so impeccable, even jewels envy its sparkle.

Never is...

2011-04-07T15:09:00.000-07:00

2011-04-07T11:32:00.001-07:00

twin baby boys have a conversation - OFFICIAL VIDEO

2011-04-05T21:36:00.000-07:00

why do babies & children make me cry lately? so beautiful...! legit convo !

2011-04-03T22:54:00.000-07:00

My perfect day begins with the prayer of Fajr, then the addition of Dhuhr, then `Asr, then Maghrib, and ends with Ishaa. That is all. In between, I would hope that I strive to make the next prayer better than the one before. In between, I would hope that thoughts of death never escape my mind. In between, I would hope that I would be the best I am at all that I do; whether it's breathing or math, or eating or thinking, forgiving or forgetting. I would hope that all my acts, all my intentions, all my behaviors, are for the sake of Allah. I hope to go to bed dreaming of having such a day, and waking up making it that day.

2011-04-03T22:45:00.000-07:00

2011-04-03T22:42:00.000-07:00

how I feel every 2.5 seconds.

Khutbah of Uthman (rAa) "Prepare for death yourself"

2011-04-03T14:05:00.000-07:00

It is narrated that ‘Uthmân b. Áffân – Allâh be pleased with him – said in a sermon:

Son of Adam! Know that the angel of death who has been assigned to you has not ceased to pass you and move on to others, ever since you have been in this world. But it is as if he is about to pass someone else and move on to target you, so be careful and prepare for him (by correcting your deeds). And do not forget him, for he does not forget you. And know o son of Adam, if you are heedless about yourself and do not prepare, no one else will prepare for you. You must meet Allah the Mighty and Majestic, so take for yourself and do not leave it to someone else. Peace be on you.

Abû Bakr Al-Daynûrî, Al-Mujâlasah wa Jawâhir Al-Ílm 2: 73, 74.

Source:http://www.sayingsofthesalaf.net/index.php/category/advice-from-the-salaf/#ixzz1IUpQ90m6

Umar on interacting with others [trust, consultation, & friendship]

2011-04-03T13:57:00.000-07:00

It is reported that ‘Umar b. Al-Khattâb – Allâh be pleased with him – said:

Whoever exposes himself to suspicion, let him blame only himself for whoever suspects him.

He who covers his secret is in a position to choose [to correct himself].

Assume the best about your brother until what comes to you from him overcomes you [and you have to change your opinion].

Never do you pay back someone who disobeys Allâh in his dealings with you with the likes of obeying Allâh in your dealings with him.

Take righteous brothers [as friends]; acquire them in plenty, for they are a beautification in prosperity and an aid during calamity.

Do not ask about what has not yet happened until it actually happens, for what has happened is enough of an occupation to worry about what has not happened.

Let not your speech be given freely except to those who want to hear it and will value it.

Do not seek help in fulfilling a need you have except from someone who wants success for you in that endeavor.

Do not consult except people who fear Allâh, and do not accompany the sinner, [lest] you learn his sinfulness.

And be humble at the graves.

Abû Dâwûd, Kitâb Al-Zuhd article 89.

http://www.sayingsofthesalaf.net/index.php/category/advice-from-the-salaf/#ixzz1IUlxG5c4

2011-03-30T17:19:00.000-07:00

Al-Hasan Al-Basri – Allah have mercy on him – said,

When a man sought knowledge, it would not be long before it could be seen in his humbleness, his sight, upon his tongue and his hands, in his prayer, in his speech and in his disinterest (zuhd) in worldly allurements. And a man would acquire a portion of knowledge and put it into practice, and it would be better for him than the world and all it contains – if he owned it he would give it in exchange for the hereafter.

Ibn Al-Mubarak, Al-Zuhd wa Al-Raqa`iq Vol.1 p.156.

2011-03-27T21:03:00.000-07:00

Who taught you to hate the texture of your hair? Who taught you to hate the color of your skin, to such extent that you bleach to get like the white man? Who taught you to hate the shape of your nose, and the shape of your lips? Who taught you to hate yourself, from the top of your head to the soles of your feet?

Who taught you to hate your own kind—who taught you to hate the race that you belong to, so much so that you don’t wanna be around each other? No, before you come around asking Mr. Muhammad does he teach hate, you should ask yourself: who taught you to hate being what God gave you?
- El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz

The Husband is Required to Provide

2011-03-26T11:05:00.000-07:00


Question: If the wife has a job and she receives a good salary, is it incumbent upon the husband to provide for her? And what will the situation be, if his income is little?
Answer: It is an obligation upon the husband to provide for his wife, even if she has a good salary, because his providing for her is in return for the pleasure which he gets from her - even though his income may be little, unless the woman is good-natured and is indulgent towards her husband regarding provision, then the matter is up to her.
Shaykh Muhammad bin Saalih al-`Uthaymeen
Fatawa Islamiyyah, Darussalam, volume 5, pages 183/184	I thought this was quite interesting. Many people tend to have this idea that as long as women have a job, she's the 'provider.' But she doesn't have to use any of her money, unless it be out of her good heart. She could be a millionaire, and it would still be an obligation upon the husband to provide. Women's rights? Check.

pay(shuns)

2011-03-26T10:47:00.000-07:00

We're always tested with the things we can't have, the things we really want, and sometimes need. If we were tested with the very things we already have, we would never understand the concept of patience, of striving to achieve what we want, and of disciplining ourselves if we can't have it. That`s the beauty of the struggle. The beauty of the challenges we face, and the beauty of Islam.

Each of us face different challenges and struggles in life. There are homeless people with no food who strive to have what they NEED in life, and that`s challenging enough for them, it`s a real test, to have what they need. Another person who is blessed with food who really wants to become a doctor, will forget about their blessings and strive for what they really want. That's their test, patience with what they really want.They're not being tested with lack of food like the homeless person, and the homeless person is not being tested with wanting to become a doctor. Each of us face challenges uniquely; even if we all are faced with the same challenge, no two people will ever internally handle the situation alike. We each have varying degrees of Eman, of patience, of sincerity in our actions.

We have to discipline ourselves in being patient with the very things we find ourselves in need of, and we will find it in front of us, by the grace of Allah.

2011-03-22T21:20:00.000-07:00

Prophetic (PBUH) Commentary on the Qur'an - 18th Rabi al-Thani 1432 (23rd
March 2011)

Narrated Ali (Radi-Allahu 'anhu):

While the Prophet (Sallallahu 'Alaihi Wa Sallam) was in a funeral
procession he picked up something and started scraping the ground with it,
and said, "There is none among you has not his place written for him either
in the Hell Fire or in Paradise." They said, "O Allah's Apostle! Shall we
not depend upon what has been written for us and give up deeds?" He said,
"Carry on doing (good) deeds, for everybody will find easy to do such deeds
as will lead him to his destined place for which he has been created. So he
who is destined to be among the happy (in the Hereafter), will find it easy
to do the deeds characteristic of such people, while he who is destined to
be among the miserable ones, will find it easy to do the deeds
characteristic of such people." Then he recited:

'As for him who gives (in charity) and keeps his duty to Allah, and
believes in the Best reward from Allah (i.e. Allah will compensate him for
what he will spend in Allah's way), We will make smooth for him the path of
ease. But he who is a greedy miser....for him, the path for evil.'
(92.5-10)

Bukhari Vol. 6 : No. 474

Questionaire

2011-03-19T21:56:00.000-07:00

Do I truly attach myself to the Salaf? Do I adhere to the Qur'an and Sunnah as understood and practiced by the Salaf? Do I truly value Tawheed and single out Allah swt in all acts of worship (in supplication, seeking aid, seeking refuge in ease and hardship, in sacrifice, in making vows, in fearing and hoping and total resilience, and so on? DO I ? Do I actively seek to remove shirk? Do I adhere to the Sunnah of the Nabi Mohammed salaah Allahu alyahi w salaam and the Sahaaba? & those after them?

The Prophet (salaah Allahu layhi w salaam) said, “Adhere very closely to my Sunnah, and the Sunnah of the rightly guided successors after me; bite on to it with your molar teeth, and beware of the newly invented matters.” [Authentic; recorded by Abu Dawud and at-Tirmidthi.]

Am I biting on to it with my molar teeth? As in, holding on to it as hard as I can? Am I praying Sunnah prayers, fasting on Mons and Thurs, giving charity, etc? Am I ?

Whenever there is a difference of opinion, a Salafi refers matters to Allah and His Prophet (salaah Allahu layhi w salaam), acting in accordance with the ayah: If you differ in anything among yourselves, refer it to Allah and His Messenger if you do believe in Allah and the Last Day, that is better and more suitable for final determination [An-Nisa 4:59].

Do I refer matters to Allah and His Prophet salah Allaahu alyhi wa salaam and act in accordance with the ayah stated above?

I can still be doing those things and believing I'm not doing enough, there should never be "enough" done. One is not doing much, at all if the object of their desire is 10 feet away and they limit themselves to only 3 feet due to self inflicted laziness, procrastination, low eman, lack of motivation, or any other preventions we harbor ourselves with. If what we want is 10 feet away, we must be willing to have potential of 15 feet, go the extra mile. Go above and beyond, don't limit yourself to the distance the object is, sacrifice to go further, higher, better, more. There is never enough. Especially in seeking knowledge, in adhereing to the deen.

Uh oh, I'm about to embarck on some personal talk, well, what's new ?

*It`s hard to adhere to the Sunnah, it's really hard to refer matters to the Qur'an rather than argue them out with so called "intellect and opinions." It's very difficult to say "IDK" , and it's especially hard to sit through someone eating a chocolate chip cookie without sharing, but in all honesty; life is hard. Sure we've all heard it before and DO have some type of experience living; but we're so quick to complain that the complaints overshadow the lesson behind one of the most beautiful ayahs(they are all equally beautiful) in the Qur'an 94:5-6 " For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease." We waste so much time trolling on how hard this mathematical equation is, that we forget that challenges open our insight, challenges strengthen us, and challenges...challenge us! what is more beuatiful than a temporary life with trials and tribulations only to meet your Lord, who will bless you with eternal bliss and happiness! subhan'Allah.

If we instilled that thought to our every living moment, we as Muslims would have such successful and thriving lives. If we all looked and implicated the adherence of the Sunnah in ALL aspects of our lives, knowing the struggles, knowing the hardship, knowing the challenge that comes with it, I know my life (our lives) in THIS world and the NEXT will be filled with ease, insha'Allah. Nothing is difficult in the deen, everything is simple and easy. The HARD part is consistency; especially in this day of age (or is it day and age?), with technology ruling our lives; everything is quick, everything is short, we have short attention spans and find it hard to stick to something for more than a few moments. However, the important thing is to adhere to the Qur'an and Sunnah. To attach ones self to the Salaf, valuing Tawhid and singling out Allah in all forms of worship, seeking to remove shirk...holing on to the Sunnah as hard as we can, & by the grace of Allah; we will be victorious.

Who are the 'Salafis' ?

2011-03-19T21:31:00.001-07:00

The description "Salafi" applies to one who truly attaches himself to the Salaf. This attachment is not to an arbitrary single person or group of people. It is an attachment to that which will never err - to the guidance of Muhammad (salaah Allahu layhi w salaam), his Sahaba, and their true followers.

Likewise, Salafiyyah (the Salafi Da'wah) is not blind following of any particular Shaikh or Imam. It is adherence to the Qur'an and Sunnah as understood and practiced collectively by as-Salaf as-Salih. A Salafi values Tawhid, singling out Allah in all acts of worship: in supplication, in seeking aid, in seeking refuge in times of ease and hardship, in sacrifice, in making vows, in fearing and hoping and total reliance, and so on. A Salafi actively seeks to remove shirk (polytheism) with all his capacity. He knows that victory is not possible without true Tawhid, and that shirk cannot be fought with the likes of it (i.e., with another form of shirk). A Salafi adheres to the Sunnah of the Prophet (salaah Allahu layhi w salaam) and of his companions after him. 

The Prophet (salaah Allahu layhi w salaam) said, "Adhere very closely to my Sunnah, and the Sunnah of the rightly guided successors after me; bite on to it with your molar teeth, and beware of the newly invented matters." [Authentic; recorded by Abu Dawud and at-Tirmidthi.]

Whenever there is a difference of opinion, a Salafi refers matters to Allah and His Prophet (salaah Allahu layhi w salaam), acting in accordance with the ayah: If you differ in anything among yourselves, refer it to Allah and His Messenger if you do believe in Allah and the Last Day, that is better and more suitable for final determination [An-Nisa 4:59].

He gives precedence to the Word of Allah and of His Prophet (salaah Allahu layhi w salaam) over the opinion of anyone else, in according with the ayah: Believers! Do not put your opinions forward ahead of Allah and His Messenger, and fear Allah. Verily Allah is All-Hearing and All-Knowing. [Al-Hujurat 49:1].

2011-03-16T16:54:00.001-07:00

Ash-Sha’bee (rahimahullah) said “Beware of logical conclusions. By the One Whom my soul is in His Hand, if you rely upon Qiyaas you will declare that which is impermissible permissible and that which is permissible impermissible. So whatever is conveyed to you by those who narrate upon the companions, then hold on to it.” [Sunan ad-Daarimee 1/60 and no. 109]

2011-03-14T22:37:00.000-07:00

September 29th, 2010...

We tend to forget that foolish decisions are the ones that are made with our heart. Our hearts are meant to feel, not to think. We can think and then do what feels right, but we shouldn't feel and then try to think.